Month: September 2022

The definition of mental health, the symptoms of mental illness, and how to take care of your well-being.

How’s your mental health?

The way you answer that question can vary. One day, you might describe it as “great.” But depending on what you’re experiencing, you might feel like you are struggling another time. You also may not feel comfortable being completely transparent about your mental health at times, especially when you feel like it’s low.

The way we describe our mental health adjusts regularly. It’s less of a scale where the measures are perfectly balanced or tipped in one direction. We can be kinder to ourselves if we consider mental health more as a track with different stops along the way, where you can move fluidly in either direction. Since it’s not static, your mental health will go back and forth along the track throughout your lifetime.

This article examines how mental health affects “how we think, feel and act as we cope with life.”(1) It will also explain the differences between mental health and mental illness since the two terms are not the same, but are related. Finally, we’ll explore available supporting resources and consider ways to develop and strengthen your mental well-being.

What is mental health?

When we talk about mental health, we focus on how we feel emotionally and psychologically. Still, we sometimes fail to realize the connections our mental health has to physical health. And while mental health is undoubtedly a thing, we also need to consider it more broadly as a state of being because it’s our awareness of our mental state. We can describe our mental health as good, poor, or even something in-between.

Good mental health means supporting “our preferred way of living” and expressing it in how we think, feel, experience life, behave, and react.(2) However, you can project a “combination of feeling good and functioning effectively” even if you don’t “feel good about yourself and happy all the time.”(3)

If you consider your mental health good, you can process, manage, and cope with a wide range of “natural emotions.(4) That includes more negative ones – such as sadness, anger, grief, and failure. When we begin to find it challenging to live with negative emotions, it can “affect our mental well-being.”(5) We cannot function well, and our evaluation of our mental health may move from good to poor. Mental health struggles often reveal themselves in our physical, emotional, and social health.(6) We may feel more comfortable withdrawing from situations, people, and activities we may have enjoyed in the past.

Perhaps the most crucial consideration is that mental health is very different for everyone, and we shouldn’t attempt to draw comparisons between people’s experiences or mental health. It takes conscious effort to sort out our feelings. Still, the dedication supports the idea that we can return to a state of good mental health with this sort of built-in resilience.

What is mental illness?

Sometimes, we can start to have a hard time coping with life’s stressors over a prolonged time and in a way that “affect[s] thinking, emotions, and behaviors.”(7) Mental illness is sometimes the result of the brain changes experienced during these times. It can leave us “unable to think, feel, or act” how we want to.(8)

Mental illnesses can be:

• episodic
• diagnosed
• a result of environmental stress
• genetic
• trauma-incited
• or a combination of these

One of the biggest challenges in addressing mental illness is that it is still highly stigmatized. Often that means we don’t talk about it because we don’t want to face judgment from others. It doesn’t make much sense. Think about how we react or respond to other illnesses that may have more physical manifestations with more empath, compassion, and openness. Those situations can be equally full of uncertainty. The irony is that stigma most frequently develops from a lack of understanding and fear created by misrepresentations of mental illness that we’ve seen or heard. Stigma unfairly targets the person experiencing mental illness rather than drawing concern or focus to the condition.

Experiencing a mental illness can be frightening, but it shouldn’t deter someone from reaching out to get or offer help. People need care and treatment to help them recover from mental illness. They can only do so when they are supported and not fearful of judgement from friends, family members or strangers. Treatment can help someone who has difficulty coping with all the unexpected things that life presents. The goal is to help them return to feeling more confident and aware of the state of their mental health.

What are some signs of positive mental health and mental health struggles?

Some characteristics of “mentally healthy individuals” include having (9):

• A sense of joy, satisfaction, and mental peace
• A sense of high self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence
• A passion for life and drive to accomplish personal goals
• A sense of purpose in their relationships and work
• A sense of optimism and positivity
• An ability to take and fulfill responsibilities
• An ability to be compassionate and empathic towards self and others
• An ability to have fun, laugh, and make others feel happy
• An ability to cope with stress and overcome adversities
• An ability to balance work, relationships, rest, interests, fun
• An ability to learn new skills and improve their lives

Some signs of mental health struggle include (10):

• Confused thinking and strange thoughts (delusions)
• Prolonged depression, sadness, or irritability
• Extreme highs and lows, constant worry
• Social withdrawal
• Dramatic changes in sleeping and eating habits
• Anger (strong)
• Suicidal thoughts
• Physical ailments
• Substance use
• Intense fears
• Changes in performance at school or work
• Defiance of authority, disobedience, or aggression

Suppose someone you know is showing several signs of struggle. In that case, you may want to consult with your family doctor or mental health professional. Remember that poor mental health can affect anyone at any age. Don’t wait to extend help or underestimate when there is a severe or immediate need.(11)

Why should mental illness be addressed?

When people lack social support and confidence and start to feel powerless or helpless, they are at a greater risk of developing mental illness. It’s important to understand that:
“Different mental illnesses can range in terms of severity, and multiple mental illnesses can occur at the same time. Mental illness can also be temporary or long lasting. Mental illnesses are also much more common than people may realize, with over 264 million people worldwide suffering from depression alone.”(12)

Mental illness affects people’s cognition, emotions, body, and behaviours. One of the biggest causes of mental health challenges results from the effects of harmful stress, though we all handle stress differently. When it’s both prolonged and overwhelming, stress can contribute to “anxiety, depression, sleep problems, pain and bodily complaints such as muscle tension…headaches, gastrointestinal problems, a weakened immune system, hypertension (high blood pressure), cardiovascular problems and stroke.”(13)

Addressing mental illness and mental health has reached a critical point worldwide. As the World Health Organization has stated, we need to “strengthen our response” to offer “affordable, effective and feasible strategies…to promote, protect and restore mental health.”14 Mental illness is the “leading cause of disability…[affecting] around 450 million people…worldwide.”(15)

Understanding the risk factors is only part of what’s required for us to act collectively to increase awareness and reduce stigma. We can also embrace and influence policy change and attitudes, plus advocate for access and consistency of treatment approaches. Problems associated with mental health are a global issue. Problems associated with mental health are a global issue. Still, not all countries or governments have fully recognized the extent or depth of the crisis. and how inaction “ruins health, threatens lives and hurts economies.”(16)

What kinds of supports are available to care for our mental health?

• In Canada, the Government of Canada has compiled an extensive group of resources and supports under the title of “Mental Health Support: Get help” for people to explore. It focuses on nationally available help offered 24/7 from an organization such as Wellness Together Canada [wellnesstogether.ca], plus information for targeted groups. The Mental Health Support hub also lists supports available within each province. Visit https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/ mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html
• In the United States, the Government has taken a similar approach, offering a compilation of resources and information about “How To Get Mental Health Help.” There is information about treatment services in the U.S. and its territories, plus details about coverage that may be available through health insurance plans, clinical trials, and resources for veterans and their families. Visit https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help
• In Mexico, according to research published in the International Journal of Mental Health Systems in 2021, the approach to mental health services is evolving.(17) There is still a focus on education and community-based programs and facilities that offer help and treatment options. The effort is being coordinated by a non-profit organization, Red Voz Pro Salud Mental (VPSM). It includes establishing support groups, leveraging social media for education and working to “promote laws to the federal government.”(18) Still according to one study shared by the non-profit organization, The Borgen Project, “Mexico ranked second in the world in the level of stigma associated with mental health services.”(19) Visit https://www.vozprosaludmental.org.mx

What are some ways that you can practice mental well-being?

Here are a few ways that you can take care of your mental health:

• Stay physically healthy by getting enough exercise and sleep, but also focusing on keeping up with good nutrition.
• Build your social health by connecting to friends, family, and the community. Volunteering or taking up a hobby are excellent ways to strengthen your social circles.
• Try working on developing good mental health practices daily through meditation, writing in a gratitude journal, and using relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or guided imagery.(20)

References: 

1. National Library of Medicine (National Institute of Health). (n.d.) How to Improve Mental health. MedlinePlus. Retrieved July 24, 2022 from https://medlineplus.gov/howtoimprovementalhealth.html

2. Mind Help, Reviewed by World Mental Healthcare Association. (n.d). Good Mental Health. Mind Help. Retrieved July 24, 2022 from https://mind.help/topic/what-is-good-mental-health…

3. Ibid.

4. Ibid.

5. Ibid.

6. Ibid.

7. Mental Health America. (n.d.) Mental Illness And The Family: Recognizing Warning Signs And How To Cope. Mental Health America. Retrieved July 24, 2022 from https://www.mhanational.org/recognizing-warning-signs

8. Ibid.

9. Mind Help, Reviewed by World Mental Healthcare Association. (n.d). Good Mental Health. Mind Help. Retrieved July 24, 2022 from https://mind.help/topic/what-is-good-mental-health…

10. Mental Health America. (n.d.) Mental Illness And The Family: Recognizing Warning Signs And How To Cope. Mental Health America. Retrieved July 24, 2022 from https://www.mhanational.org/recognizing-warning-signs

11. Ibid.

12. World Health Organization (WHO) as cited in Felix Team. (n.d.). The Difference Between Mental Health vs Mental Illness. felix. com. Retrieved July 24, 2022 from https://www.felixforyou.ca/blog-posts/mental-health-vs-mental-illness

13. Canadian Association for Mental Health (CAMH) (n.d.). Stress. camh.ca. Retrieved on July 24, 2022 from https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/stress

14. WHO. (2022 June 17). Mental health: strengthening our response. World Health Organization Newroom. Retrieved on July 24, 2022 from https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-health-strengthening-our-response

15. CAMH. (n.d.). The Crisis Is Real. camh.ca. Retrieved on July 24, 2022 from https://www.camh.ca/en/driving-change/the-crisis-i…

16. Ibid.

17. Carmona-Huerta, J., Durand-Arias, S., Rodriguez, A. et al. Community mental health care in Mexico: a regional perspective from a mid-income country. Int J Ment Health Syst 15, 7 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1186/s13033-020-00429-9

18. Ibid.

19. Daniels, S. (2021 February 17). Red Voz Pro and Mental Health In Mexico [Blog]. TheBorgenProject.org. Retrieved on July 24, 2022 from https://borgenproject.org/mental-health-in-mexico/…

20. National Library of Medicine (2020 May 5). Medline Plus: How to Improve Mental Health. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health. Retrieved on July 24, 2022 from https://medlineplus.gov/howtoimprovementalhealth.h…

Understanding family dynamics, what healthy family traits look like, and how to identify toxic family dynamics.

It’s a given that no two families are alike. However, our first forays into becoming more aware of our families’ dynamics begin when we gather with extended family. Differences also show up when visiting friends’ families. We even see contrasts to our own experiences within the portrayals of some of the most beloved families in popular culture. It can leave us questioning why our families can’t more closely align with what we may perceive to be idealized versions.

But, for better or worse, there’s close to universal agreement on the value of family as a concept because it teaches us about belonging to something bigger than ourselves. Families are where we first learn about connections, relationships, and friendships.

This article looks at different aspects of family dynamics and family compositions. It will explore some of the characteristics of healthy family dynamics and contrast these with behaviours considered damaging and toxic. Finally, we’ll consider ways to learn how to navigate the complexities of family life and touch on what someone can do if they think their family could use some help.

What are family dynamics?

The ways that family members interact with one another are commonly referred to as family dynamics. They are heavily influenced by culture, traditions, family history, learned skills, emotions, and the roles and hierarchy within a family. Family dynamics patterns affect the behaviours and relationships we see within a specific family environment.

When families are close, “a person [can enjoy] better health and well-being, as well as lower rates of depression and disease throughout a lifetime.”(1) However, even close families can experience complicated family dynamics that create tension, introduce rivalries, and threaten stability.(2)

Types of family structures

Today, it’s common to see many different family structures.

Nuclear

The idea of the nuclear family (a married couple with two children) was the model to aspire to around the middle of the twentieth century. It began after family structures shifted away from large, extended families with many children and relatives who contributed their labour to a family business. Instead, children from those larger families left home with dreams of economic independence. In their new surroundings, single people would pair up, get married, have a couple of kids, and buy a home to settle down in. In a nuclear family, it was typical for men to earn income and for women to stay home raising children.(3) Today’s nuclear family often sees both parents working to support the family, focusing on shared responsibilities to raise children together in a family home.

Single-parent

Single-parent families have become increasingly more common in the past sixty years. They often result after a relationship breakdown where one adult leaves the household, and the children reside with a custodial parent and visit the other. Some people have been widowed, and others have chosen to remain single. Single-parent families often “are at a financial disadvantage” because of having to rely on one income and often face economic difficulties.(4)

Multigenerational

Multigenerational families have “three or more generations of relatives” living in the same household and are becoming increasingly common.(5) These family structures have many benefits, such as “shared expenses, reduced loneliness, and help with childcare and eldercare.”But there are also challenges when members of multigenerational households try to find privacy. Younger family members tend to receive unsolicited advice and opinions.

Blended families

When a parent with their own children enters into a new relationship with someone in a similar situation, there’s often a lot to consider. Suppose the couple decides to merge the two families within one home. Blending these two families can take time for everyone to adjust. There is a lot of potential for rivalries to develop, and some family members could feel neglected. Since bonds take time to develop, parents of blended families can face challenges around developing ground rules and agreeing on how to establish authority and handle discipline, especially for teens.(7)

Families with many siblings

When there are many children in a family, there are a lot of shared experiences. From the standpoint of child development, having siblings can positively affect “a child’s social skills,” where people can become “more agreeable and sympathetic.”(8) It’s not always smooth sailing, however. Sibling rivalry, jealousy, and conflict are all normal aspects for families to deal with. There are many assumptions and stereotypes about birth order and the characteristics siblings present as part of their personalities. Still, not all of them “seem to hold up in research.”(9) Firstborn and older siblings tend be more “motivated to fulfill parents’ expectations and therefore become more responsible. Since middle children are not the only ones vying for their parent’s attention, they may feel overlooked. However, it also seems that youngest children receive the most attention and affection from parents because older siblings have become more self-sufficient. It can lead to situations where the youngest children may “develop social skills that will get other people to do things for them.”(10)

Only children

Many factors can influence a family’s decision to have one child. Sometimes, families must weigh the costs of raising children and make decisions based on economics. Having one child may offer the best chance to fulfill parental responsibilities and obligations and provide for a child’s welfare. The cost of post-secondary education, which parents often feel obligated to help their children, continues to increase each year. But there could be other factors, such as the progress of a women’s career. A woman may choose to delay pregnancy to stay in the workforce. Despite many false stereotypes, only children tend to be comfortable with independence, flexibility, and creativity. They may also have greater confidence and language abilities from being socialized amongst adults.

No children

A family is still a family without children: having children is a profoundly personal decision. Couples facing infertility challenges may not be able to. It could also be a conscious choice for people who don’t want to have kids. Couples with no children may enjoy their lifestyle, career freedom and the ability to travel at any time. But they may have pets or enjoy spending time with extended family (nieces, nephews, or friend’s children).

Family by choice

Friends who are trusted can be just as supportive, if not more so, than family members. Relationships often have less stress because friends are there by choice and share similar perspectives and values. They don’t share memories of complicated family history. They are less likely to feel liberated to cast judgment on you simply because of an association. Having a close network of friends you enjoy spending time with is a great way to increase your well-being.

Living life estranged from family

Estrangement happens when there are rifts in relationships that create uncomfortable feelings and situations, resulting in prolonged periods of distance where there is little to no contact. It can be a choice to help protect someone from “abuse, neglect, betrayal, bullying, unaddressed mental illness, not being supportive, destructive behaviour, substance abuse…sexual orientation, choice of spouse, gender identity, religion, or political views.”(11) Taking a break from family members can be temporary, but it may also be a permanent choice. Only you know if you want to work towards a future reconciliation.

Healthy family dynamics

There are several characteristics of healthy family dynamics to consider. While this is not an exhaustive list, you can view their positive qualities and recognize that they may help support your family’s functioning.

• Honest, open communication– Having regular, face-to-face discussions where family members respect one another by listening to understand someone’s perspective.

• Supportiveness – Parents, take an active role in their children’s lives appreciating them for their individuality and offering support for decisions and goals their children wish to undertake. Siblings should also be supportive of one another.

• Safety and security– Where family members feel that they belong, and they experience positive emotional well-being in their interactions.

• Love and caring– Family members who are in tune with others’ needs openly express their affection and demonstrate it through gestures and actions that convey love and caring.

• Valuing and respecting – Where all family members believe in making their other family members feel important and appreciated.

• Addressing conflict – Working together to resolve or repair conflict so that relationships between family members become strong and more resilient.(12)

Toxic family dynamics

In toxic families, behaviours are almost always destructive and harmful, which can significantly affect family members’ mental health. It is more than the occasional conflict. Unhealthy behaviour patterns are often unrelenting and become the norm within the family, so much so that affected family members may not recognize the harmful behaviours.

Parentification

Parentification is a role-reversal where the parent chooses not to or is unable to take on household responsibilities. Instead, the parent relies upon a child to take the lead in providing comfort, nurturing, giving advice, mediating conflicts, and more. The child takes on the role of an adult in the relationship. The lack of boundaries can create significant trauma for the child because it “interferes with a child’s ability to engage in developmentally appropriate activities” because they have to “grow up quickly.”(13) This dynamic is often observed in households where an adult may be living with addiction.

Family violence

Family violence often erupts when there is an “abuse of power” or trust that “threatens the survival, security, or well-being” of a family member.(14) The violence can be physical, emotional, environmental, financial, ritualistic, sexual, religious, or social. While women and children are often the victims, men also experience family violence.

Triangulation

Triangulation is a “form of manipulation” where one person attempts to insert themselves between two others to create divisiveness and seclusion.(15) It’s born out of feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, and the person who is orchestrating it is attempting to keep the two others apart by limiting communication and serving as their intermediary.

Rivalry

Rivalry, especially amongst siblings, is competitiveness born from jealousy, often leading to competition between two or more siblings. It usually begins during childhood and can carry forward into adulthood. While it may seem that it’s something affecting the siblings, it has quite a negative effect on the entire family dynamic.(16)

How to navigate through family dynamics

Family dynamics change and evolve. It can help to learn more about managing some of the challenges that inevitably arise as part of family dynamics.

• Division of labour – Ensuring that the responsibilities for maintaining a functioning household do not fall on one person. All family members should participate in helping to keep a home in good order.

• Discipline vs. punishment – Recognizing the differences between these two actions is essential. With discipline, you are teaching someone a new behaviour and helping them learn. The focus is on the learner. With punishment, you are using fear to obtain the desired behaviour. The focus is on the person delivering the punishment.

• Listening to understand – Learning to listen carefully and understand what someone is expressing is a skill to develop. Restrain yourself from the urge to interrupt and offer solutions.

• Establish healthy boundaries – Boundaries help determine what family members believe are acceptable and unacceptable topics to discuss within the family dynamic. Setting boundaries helps protect individuality and allows some information to stay private during interactions and conversations.

• Supporting honest expression of feelings – Creating a safe space for family members to discuss topics that preserve boundaries and allow for transparency and honesty within the boundary terms is something for families to strive for.

• The importance of independence – Recognizing and supporting the need for people to develop and express themselves as independent individuals while remaining beloved family members can make all the difference in someone’s health and well-being.

• Letting go and severing ties when necessary – Sometimes, people need the room to move through a situation in their lives on their own. Family members can offer support and guidance but appreciating the need for someone to find their way can strengthen the family dynamic.

• Divorce – Relationships break down and can lead to divorce. It can be a traumatic and painful experience for everyone involved. Preserving a sense of the family dynamic in the future will be essential to convey to everyone, especially children.

• Self-preservation – In situations where families experience trauma or toxicity, some people may need to step away for some time to preserve their mental health and well-being. Being gracious and understanding is the best approach. The person will reach out if and when they are ready.

Families also need to appreciate how different events in their lives will affect the family dynamics. Being patient and accepting of the changes and working through any difficulties together will help when getting through the big, demanding things like:

• Grief
• Aging parents
• Chronic illness or disease
• Children leaving home (empty nest)

Finally, family members should educate themselves about unhealthy behaviours that create conflict so that they can work to avoid these disrupting the relationship dynamics.

Look out for:

• Controlling
• Blaming
• Threatening
• Criticism
• Dismissiveness
• Extremism / Dramatics

Naming the behaviour is a way to acknowledge that you won’t support or continue discussions or interactions that exhibit these characteristics.

Family dynamics can be complicated, but our experiences as part of a family inform and influence how we interact with the world throughout our lives.

References:

(1) Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff (n.d.) Family Dynamics. Psychology Today. Retrieved June 14, 2022 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/family-d…

(2) Ibid.

(3) Brooks, D. (2020 March). The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake. The Atlantic. Retrieved June 14, 2022 from https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/…

(4) Bapat, M. PhD., HSPP. (2021 August 24). Understanding Single Parent Families: Types, Dynamics and Statistics. Love to Know. Retrieved on June 14, 2022 from https://family.lovetoknow.com/single-parent-family

(5) Mosier, K.(n.d.) 13 Truths About Multigenerational Living No One Talks About. BobVila.com. Retrieved on June 14, 2022 from https://www.bobvila.com/slideshow/13-truths-about-…

(6) Ibid.

(7) Morin, A. LCSW. (2021 August 7). Solve the 4 Biggest Problems Blended Families Face. verywellfamily.com. Retrieved June 14, 2022 from https://www.bobvila.com/slideshow/13-truths-about-…

(8) Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff. (n.d.) Family Dynamics: Navigating Sibling Relationships. Psychology Today. Retrieved June 14, 2022 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/family-d…

(9) Ibid.

(10) Ibid.

(11) Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff (n.d.) Family Estrangement. Psychology Today. Retrieved June 14, 2022 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/family-d…

(12) American Academy of Pediatrics (2015 November 21). Normal Functioning Family. healthychildren.org Retrieved on June 14, 2022 from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-lif…

(13) Harris, N. (2021 April 26). What is Parentification? Spotting the Warning Signs and How to Let Kids Be Kids. Parents.com Retrieved on June 14, 2022 from https://www.parents.com/kids/development/what-is-p…

(14) York Region (n.d.) Family Violence. York Region. Retrieved June 14, 2022 from https://www.york.ca/health/parenting/family-violen…

(15) Cuncic, A. (2021 November 9). What Is Triangulation In Psychology? verywellmind.com Retrieved June 14, 2022 from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-triangulation…

(16) Bradley, S. (2020 May 19). Give Peace a Chance: Sibling Rivalry Causes and Solutions. healthline.com Retrieved on June 14, 2022 from https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/siblin…