As a parent, seeing your child question who they are, feel uncertain about their values, or change direction can be deeply worrying. As they transition into adulthood and navigate their changing identity, your role shifts to watching and supporting as they make their own choices and mistakes. These experiences often signal growth rather than failure, as young adults need the space and time to find their balance.
Many young people in Canada are struggling during this transition. According to a Government of Canada study, during COVID‑19 around 20.5% of Canadians in the 18-24 age group showed signs of elevated anxiety symptoms, and nearly 26.9% had elevated depression symptoms—both of which often intertwine with identity confusion. These figures suggest that identity struggles are not isolated incidents but part of a wider pattern of stress, uncertainty, and shifting expectations.
Defining identity doesn’t lead to a fixed destination, especially while transitioning into adulthood with more roles and responsibilities, it can feel like a constantly shifting state. For many young adults, these changes are marked by periods of uncertainty about beliefs, values, careers, sexuality, or purpose are an important phase. You might notice your young adult withdrawing from old friends, changing their interests, or rejecting family expectations. Perhaps they seem more anxious, unsure, critical of themselves, or constantly trying on new labels. These are often not signs of rebellion, but of trying to carve out a version of themselves that feels genuine.
How can you help, without pushing?
Begin with curiosity: When your child shares something uncertain—“I’m not sure if I want to study this major anymore” or “I’m questioning my belief in this…”—ask questions out of interest, not judgment. Reflect back what you hear: “That sounds hard,” or “I see that you’re thinking deeply about this topic that matters to you.” When you resist the urge to fix, you make room for growth.
Encouragement matters: remind them of what they have achieved or overcome, what strengths you see, and what you admire about their curiosity. It can be encouraging to share stories from your own life; times when you changed direction, felt lost, but discovered something new. It helps to normalize that identity isn’t linear.
Supporting practical expression of identity is also crucial. Maybe your child tries out a new hobby, starts dressing differently, changes friend groups, or explores different cultural, sexual, or gender identities. Listen, engage gently, and advocate when they need additional support while continuing to keep the lines of communication open. This guarantees that the home remains a place of acceptance and safe exploration.
While identity formation is normal, there are times when struggles may require more help. If the identity questions are accompanied by serious emotional distress, persistent depression, anxiety that impairs daily functioning, or talk of self-harm, getting expert support can help. A good start could be contacting our Admissions team, where you can learn more about the My Path Program for young adults 19+ and the supports we can provide to your loved ones.
Finally, as a parent, it’s essential to tend to your own emotions. Worry, guilt, confusion—these are all reasonable and human. Seek support, whether from other parents, mental health professionals, or community groups. Strengthening your own self-awareness helps you stay grounded and present; you cannot fully support someone else without being somewhat steady yourself.
